BOUNDARY WORK

 

Boundaries are essential for living a well-balanced life and knowing what kind of life we want to live.  Boundaries help us to determine where we choose to spend our time and energy and who we choose to surround ourselves with. Having clear boundaries allows us to organize our lives and regain control of the direction we are going in. Boundaries allow us to create containment around things that are harmful to us, such as negative thoughts/feelings, substance abuse, and un-healthy relationships. These are all indications of boundary issues.  It’s important to learn where we end and where someone else begins.

Everything begins with boundaries

During my time working within the therapeutic field, I have supported people from all walks of life who presented with a spectrum of issues they wished to address, from substance abuse to impulsivity to depression to sleep issues. Although their reasons for seeking counseling weren’t the same, each of these people were in drastic need of boundaries.  This may sound odd at first to say the problem was a boundary issue, but if you stop and think about how integral boundaries are to every aspect of our lives, it begins to make more sense. Having clear boundaries allows us to organize our lives and regain control of the direction we are going in.  We have boundaries around our time, affection, money, and ourselves.    

Here are a few signs that indicate you may be experiencing boundary issues

  • Do you find you put other’s needs above your own?  Are you even aware what your needs are? 

  • Do you have a hard time telling others “no” even when you know you do not want to do something? 

  • Do you feel a need to have an influence on other people’s decisions?  Do other people influence your own decisions?

  • Do you have a hard time recognizing other people’s space?  Do other people impede on your space?

  • Are you always assessing the response of others and changing your actions to create a more pleasing one?  Or do you spend a lot of time reassessing prior interactions to determine whether or not you came off in a positive way?

  • Do you notice other people advancing in life, but you feel stuck? 

  • Do you tend to concede to the other person? Do you find yourself needing to be right? 

  • Is it hard for you to make decisions, no matter the size?

  • Do you feel that you are in a constant state of overwhelm?

Each of these items are indicative of boundary issues; whether you are being impeded upon by others or you are impeding upon them yourself. If you are ready to set healthy boundaries and regain control of the direction your life is going in, book your first counseling session below.